Mother’s day thoughts

Lying here thinking about Mother’s Day brings about lots of emotions and thoughts. One thought is something I shared in a previous blog about never being able to get pregnant and knowing that I will not get to become a mother. That is something I have had to deal with over the last 4 years since my partial hysterectomy took place. I am surrounded by so many kids and have found my place as an aunt to them. And I love them as if they were my own. I also get to be a fur baby mama and I will take it. God knows what He has in store for me and I rest in that. The other thoughts are that my mother and grandmother aren’t here. They haven’t been for 5 and 4 years. My relationship with my mom was a roller coaster that had more lows as an adult and highs as a child. My grandmother was a constant in both my childhood and adult life. She was my rock. She was there on the day I had my partial hysterectomy and the numerous procedures and discussions before and after that. She emulated the way a relationship with Jesus should be. She read her Bible and did her devotionals everyday until she just couldn’t because she wasn’t able to stay awake anymore. I miss her. I got to do so many things with her and I love looking back and thinking of those fun times. She was my best friend. God knew what He was doing even when I didn’t. He brought me back to Him through her getting cancer and getting to spend quality time with her during her last 9 weeks of life. I was with her every evening except for 1 or 2. I thank God everyday for that time because we shared so many things.

Now I deal with the feelings that come every year when people tell you happy Mother’s Day and don’t realize that it breaks your heart a little each time. They don’t mean anything by it, but it still hurts. This is not one of those “cry for me” post but I want to share about how awesome God is in every situation. He truly knows what is best for us even if we have no clue. Trust that He catches every tear and acknowledges the pain that is felt. Lean into Him and He will comfort you through all your storms and your triumphs.